Would it bother you if your ex posted this today?
Let’s be honest: We’ve all been guilty of letting our voyeuristic tendencies get the better of us by keeping an ex around on some form of social media. Whether it’s due to your unwillingness to let things go, an overwhelming sense of loss, or a simple “what are they doing without me?” mentality, keeping virtual tabs on a former lover is pretty common practice these days.
However, while harmless in some respects, it can become an added stress when you’re scrolling through your daily news feed and start to stumble upon photos of your ex doing fabulous things, looking better than ever, or—gasp—getting cozy with someone else before you’ve even had have your morning coffee.
With that said, we’ve come up with a 5 tips that to help you decide whether it’s worth keeping or deleting an ex on social media.
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1. KEEP if the relationship wasn’t terribly significant
Chances are, you probably won’t be too bothered with seeing updates and photos from someone you casually dated. In this case, it’s not really a gain or loss either way, so if you want to keep them around, keep them around.
2. DELETE if your ex is obsessive with social media updates.
This can get highly annoying, and there’s simply no need to hold your emotions and your mood hostage to social media. If you’re very active on social as well, odds are you’ll be seeing a barrage of your ex’s updates all day long, which makes him or her very present in your thoughts, which can be harmful if you’re trying to move on. If you’re not ready to hit “delete” completely, you can always choose to exercise the option to hide their updates on Facebook.
3. KEEP if you’re realistically over your ex.
Push denial to the side and ask yourself whether you’re really, truly over your ex. If the answer is yes—and you’re willing to potentially witness photos of your former love with other attractive romantic partners—you’re probably not going to be in the danger zone when it comes to remaining friends of Facebook, or following his Twitter or Instagram feeds.
4. DELETE if you know your ex isn’t overyou.
This one can be tricky, but you probably don’t have to look into a crystal ball to know if you’re ex isn’t over you, they’ll likely be checking outyourupdates regularly. If you’re uncomfortable with this, politely hit “delete.”
5. DELETE if you guys still occasionally hook up.
If you’re friends with benefits (hey, no judgement), social media can be a misleading factor when it comes to identifying your feelings. How? Let’s say you hook up once in a while with your ex, but still don’t know how you feel, a sudden influx of Instagram photos that shows him or her having fun, doing cool stuff, or meeting new people can cloud your judgement and make you see your ex through filters that aren’t real, but rather carefully orchestrated for the sake of others.
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